New Place..new start

ok...quit V.E Grp today...its horrible...no basic pay...no lunch hour...crazy...will be starting at Secret Recipe (Plaza Singapura) on tuesday...need to go for my typhoid jab...scary..bt no...me no scared...me big boy...(NOT LITTLE BOY UH SMARYYY!!!) oh well...headache still persisting...soccer tmr morning against mr koh's team...must win please!!! Will be skipper playing in defensive midfield slot...excitedddd...hahahaha...nth else to crap abt...oh well...till my next post...

Mr Independent

- Signing Out -

Tired, Stressed, Pissed

CHEEBYE BODOH!!! WORK SUCKS!!! BLOODY HEADACHE!!!! SUIT AND TIE MY BACKSIDE LAH!!!! KANINNA!!!!

Ok tht felt good...argh...tired bt cnt slp..my head's splitting apart pls...must sing the smallville song..."Somebody saaavvvve meeeee!!!!" Smallville? Thts like a million years ago...hahaha oh crap...i wanna slp...somebody hit me with a hammer please...bleargh...

Mr Independent

- Signing Out -

Back...

hey all...back frm KL a few hours ago...but im nt gonna blog abt tht...soo...well last mon-wed had camp wid my fellow SHOUT leaders...it was a bloody retarded camp pls...no running no push ups no this no that...might as wellstuff thm up and turn thm into butter factories...LOL...gross-ness..on the other hand...it was great fun cos my SHOUT leaders were - as usual - the hyper bunch of monkeys we were born to be...yin teng had a mad obsession with HSM songs...while the rest...well the rest were just quirky luh...we had macs on the first night...super retarded pls...and we tortured qitian with endless renditions of the song "fabulous"frm HSM 2 hahaha now the song s stuck in her head...HURRAH!! hahaha...2nd night nt vr nice though...little beatrice fell while playing touch rugby...partially my fault...poor dear cried for hours...mind you it wasnt a minor fall...but i have to say...she really looked adorable even whn she was crying...in the end had to bring her to TTSH...the hero as usual had to walk there while the teachers qitian and beatrice cab-ed there...it was nehnehpok scary pls...nth but trees all ard me...in the end beats had to go hme...she was pissed bt truthfully...it was the best thing to do...anw get well soon dearie...i'll check on you tmr morning hahahaha...well wht else...nth much luh...thurs and fri just stayed hme and retarded ard...oh yeah...starting work on wednesday...suit and tie ppl dun play play uh...hahaha okok...nth else to bull-dung abt...till next time...

Mr Independent

- Signing Out -

Brick Wall...

Ok...the post O level vacation started on the worst note possible...our camp was blown to bits...major misinterpretation of the proposal was uncalled for...damn...i don't even know what to say...one thing's for sure...i wish the O's were still on...yes..that's how fucked up it is...ok...it was plainly my fault...over-ambitious? I don't know...but i overlooked a hell lot of procedures which i didnt even know existed!! Which explains why i overlooked it in the first place...but..i could have avoided this if i had taken the advice of the shout members...damn...the feeling's horrible...well...i guess i gotta start over...from scratch...apologies to my SHOUT committee members for all the hard work thts gone to waste...my bet guys...i understand if u guys blame me...and i take full responsibility for making us crash into this brick wall...so yeah...if u guys gonna kill me...i totally understand...till next time...

Mr Independent

- Signing Out -

Oh yeah...team SJI All Stars are having a reunion...and guess who's the opposition? None other than BHS!!! Hmm...honestly..i dono hows it gonna turn out...its been long since we played together...hopefully we still have the understanding...yet to be beaten though our team...hahahaha...and i'm not very eager for it to happen...so...anyway...here's the starting lineup for anyone who's interested... :)

GK-Chien Ming

RB-Nige

RCB-Bo Yang

LCB-Hilmi

LB-Rahim

CDM-Ruzaini Syazwan (C)

RWM-Brandon

LWM-Leslie

CAM-Rudy

RF-Nicholas (VC)

LF-Hahn

Hmmm...

If the plural of "Goose"is "Geese"...

Is the plural of "Moose" "Meese"?

And if that's the case...

Is "Cheese" The plural of "Choose"?

Hmmmm...go figure...

My Saviour...

Back to being myself now...after going so close to to the edge...I found a lifeline...or rather...my lifeline found me... "Don't just in case me, just in case me! You'll watch me grow up and you'll be there when I need you. So don't just in case me!" she said...simple...but brought me back to my senses...so I'm chucking the knife...and I'm coming back...Ilyas...if you're reading this...you better go get yourself insurance boy...cos tonight...I'm turning the tables onto you...I've been keeping quiet and letting you have your way...but after I get you...trust me...you don't wanna know what's in store my friend...you wanna get your guys? That's up to you...won't make much of a difference though...you've seen what I've done when I WAS on your side...you didnt give me back my life...so I'm taking it back...by force...ok...enough about assholes...that's all for now...oh one more thing...I'M BACK.

To my saviour (You know who you are)> Thanks for pulling me back...and yes...I'll be watching you grow up to be a strong and beautiful person...and I'll always be there whenever you need me...Loves... :)

Mr Independent

- Signing Out -

Choices...

Another has passed...labouring through the never-ending thoughts invading my mind...trying hard to detach myself from distractions..from the past...just as I thought that I've left it all behind...just as I thought I've started life anew...the past catches up with me...threatening to swallow...to engulf all that I've worked towards...ever felt like you're being thrown into the deep end of the pool with bricks tied to your feet? That's how i feel...the more I run..the more I struggle...the deeper I sink...the more water I swallow...its not for the lack of trying...I've left all the old habits...the old acquaintances...the old vices...but as they say...evreything has its consequences...some call it repercussions...others say it's karma...well...I'm sick of this karma...i made mistakes...I've faced the consequences..but if people judge...then whats the point of repenting?'I've reached the point where barely anything matters...pain is replaced by numbness...disappointment is replaced by indifference...I'm thinking...enough is enough...but the world hasn't had enough...hasn't had enough of me...I'm not a muffin out of which everyone can take a bite of...yes..I've flawed...but not so much so that my feelings are nonexistent...to some..seeing the back of me might bring happiness...satisfaction even...to others...it might bring tears...to those...I apologize...under the hard cheerful exterior...is a volatile...uncertain interior...but it's all ending soon...

Will this be my last post?

We'll see...

Suicide

Hey all...wait...before i carry on...I'd like to say that...this post takes a more serious tone...ok...let's cut to the chase...well...to anyone who's reading this...have you ever thought about suicide? Well not necessarily commiting it...but you know...just thought about it..have you ever thought of how it would feel like when you know its your last moments alive? Or maybe exactly how you're going to end it...would you jump off a building? Or would you be hanging from the ceiling? Would you just pop a couple of pills? Or slit your wrists and watch life flowing out of you? Some of you out there might have...others probably not..but then again..what exactly will it take to drive you to make such a drastic decision? I'm not sure of all the reasons but I know of one...have you ever felt broken? Torn apart? Putting in every ounce of your sweat and blood into doing what you're doing...and yet...you keep running into walls...walls that mock you...walls that drain you of all the fight that you have (or had) in you...have you ever felt like you cared so much but you still get thrown aside...have you ever heard the sound of glass breaking? Only to realise that whats breaking is not glass but your heart? Maybe you have...probably not..but would all that drive you to the edge? Or over the edge? Will ending it be cowardly? Or would save yourself from further misery? And what happens after that? Will the problems follow you? Or will it stay behind to haunt others? Death...the end? Or a beginning? Is it something to look forward to...or is it best waited for? Suicide..cowardice? Or intelligence? Is it as bad as it looks? Or would it be a better option?

Suicide...

Never thought of it?

Maybe you should...

Cos I did...

Forget You....

05/11/2008

Sure..I was excited...

Everyone texted me...

Wished me...

I waited the entire day...

Thinking..hoping that you would be next...

It never came...

Call me stupid..

But I actually waited till 05/11/08 changed to 06/11/08...

It never came...

I wasn't expecting anything big...

Not a present...

Not a handshake even...

All I wanted...

Was to hear the two precious words from you...

Or a text message maybe...

It never came...

Now I realise...

That I've been wasting my time...

Wasting too much a dime...

Somehow...

I have this strong urge to thank you...

For waking me up...

From my irrational illusions...

Delusions...

Now...

I'm smarter...

Thanks to you...

I'm clearer...

On where I stand...

The past will remain as it is;

The past...

Cos now...

I'm leaving you behind...

Though you left me rueing what could have been...

You made me understand how life treats its patrons...

Never again will I fall...

For you have taught me not to...

For now...

It's goodbye...

But not before..

I say Thank You...

For without you...

I would still be dreaming of a fairytale

Where I was the Prince...

And you were my Princess...

Finally...

It is now truly...

Mr Independent...

- Signing Out -

THANKS MOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!

Whoaa!!! Advance birthday present from Momsy...Best ever lah seh!!! For the past 17 years!!! Love you Moooooommmmm!!!!!