Choices...

Another has passed...labouring through the never-ending thoughts invading my mind...trying hard to detach myself from distractions..from the past...just as I thought that I've left it all behind...just as I thought I've started life anew...the past catches up with me...threatening to swallow...to engulf all that I've worked towards...ever felt like you're being thrown into the deep end of the pool with bricks tied to your feet? That's how i feel...the more I run..the more I struggle...the deeper I sink...the more water I swallow...its not for the lack of trying...I've left all the old habits...the old acquaintances...the old vices...but as they say...evreything has its consequences...some call it repercussions...others say it's karma...well...I'm sick of this karma...i made mistakes...I've faced the consequences..but if people judge...then whats the point of repenting?'I've reached the point where barely anything matters...pain is replaced by numbness...disappointment is replaced by indifference...I'm thinking...enough is enough...but the world hasn't had enough...hasn't had enough of me...I'm not a muffin out of which everyone can take a bite of...yes..I've flawed...but not so much so that my feelings are nonexistent...to some..seeing the back of me might bring happiness...satisfaction even...to others...it might bring tears...to those...I apologize...under the hard cheerful exterior...is a volatile...uncertain interior...but it's all ending soon...

Will this be my last post?

We'll see...